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Sharing and acting out your fantasies with a loving, committed partner is a great, safe way to do that. People who do not habitually look at porn tend to start when they're going through a distressing time. Judging from the multitude of responses we have gotten from my essay about internet pornography, pornography is an issue that plagues many relationships. None of these things suggest homosexuality to me. That was the moment my world fell apart. This is such a visible aspect of masculinity and is so very obvious that any males who doubt their masculinity struggle with the question of whether their erection is large enough to attract and satisfy women. I went upstairs and howled:

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I was at my wits' end.

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Men, Women, And Understanding Pornography

If you doubt the power of the Oedipal conflict that boys feel in relation to their mothers, I need only point to the major fist fights and near riots that break out in high schools across America if one boy should happen to use a particular curse phrase in regard to the other boy's mother. This is even true of some men who engage in full heterosexual contact with their wives and still retreat into that secret world of masturbation. There is no condemnation. One of the reasons why men who are married, engaged to be married, or have a girl friend with whom they are sexually active, engage in the viewing of pornography in secret has to do with an emotion we recently visited called shame. Shame is much more powerful than guilt because feeling guilty is connected with a single act or behavior of which the person disapproves. In the fantasy world of pornography there is no shame and there are no performance issues. Polyamory and other forms of non-monogamy such as open marriages are not entirely taboo.

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